Been talking to myself as usual and today I asked myself a question that I couldn’t answer . . .
What Do I Want ?
It seems easy and simple . . But in fact , I couldn’t answer it. It got me paralyzed , so lost in words and scared.
Honestly, those passed few years I was like having a self ignorance, It had me forget everything I am. I didn’t keep up with myself to figure out who I am. Just like a drunk just woke-up, has no clue what happened. I feel the same. as if I just opened up my eyes and started to look around. Trying to understand what’s going on, where I’ve been and where the heck I am . . Everything seems so foggy and I can’t think or understand how did I get here. I don’t know what happened to me. where did I lost myself on the way. did I approve that or I got dragged into.
I don’t remember my reasons, am I the same?! or another person I claim to be. No one ever read me inside, and I was the only one that met me from inside. I’m trying hardly to pick up the peaces .. Thinking, Thinking, Who Am I ?!.. Still dizzy, wish flashing memories.
I think that the only way to know is to start over to get to know myself. The only thing that I’m sure of is that there’s something missing, So I’ll be looking, Looking for something that I don’t know. Worried if I didn’t figure it out soon, I could get back to this self-ignorance state once again. and I’ll have to live with my own self as stranger.
But this time I’m not sure if I’ll be able to wake up again!!